A Viking's Collection of Poems
by Threni
Summary: This is simply a group of poems written about various aspects and characters of the How to Train Your Dragon series. I Own Nothing. All Rights Reserved.
1. The Pied Piper of Berk

**The Pied Piper of Berk**

Originally I intended to include this in a series of fairy tale spoofs, but soon after I began work I lost interest. At first I thought I would post this poem as a one-shot, but gradually ideas for new poems came to mind. I then began drafting ideas for some central theme and structure, but nothing really 'clicked' and I finally thought 'just post the poems in order of completion'.

For some time now I've been struck at the similarities between the first _How to Train Your Dragon_ and the story of the Pied Piper. So here it is, my version of it.

Enjoy!

.

Upon the island known as Berk

Some 7 years before today

The villagers had a problem

And it refused to go away

"Dragons! Dragons! Dragons!

They burn down our homes, fences, and wagons

Dragons! Dragons! Dragons!

We only like them carved on our flagons!"

.

Dragons would come and raid the flocks

Filling the villagers with grief

And they fought back without success

And went to plead before their Chief

"Save us, save us, save us!

Rescue this island which the Gods gave us!

Save us, save us, save us!

These dragons might very well enslave us!"

.

The mighty Chief stood before them

A bag of money in his hand

Cried he "I'll give this to the one

Who drives the dragons from our land!"

Money, money, money!

Each villager's heart hopped like a bunny

Money, money, money!

It gleamed in the sun like melted honey

.

Into the village strolled a boy

A large black dragon by his side

They heard the woes and the offer

And excitedly the boy cried

"Be friends, be friends, be friends!

Both sides apologize and make amends!

Be friends, be friends, be friends!

That's how, once and for all, this conflict ends!"

.

The villagers first gaped, then laughed

Why, the boy was completely nuts!

Said they "Make friends with those monsters?

Why, they'd kill us and eat our guts!"

"Not true, not true, not true!

Dragons are friendly and good through and through!

Not true, not true, not true!"

The boy declared, "And I'll prove it to you!"

.

He pulled out a flute and played it

And the dragons, as if possessed

Came to him like big, playful dogs

And they were patted and caressed

"You see, you see, you see?

They don't have any wish to injure me!

You see, you see, you see?

They can be trained if you act patiently"

.

But the villagers were not pleased

And the Chief held back the reward

Roaring "the friend for these devils

Is the pointed edge of my sword!

Get out, get out, get out!

Take your 'friends' with you and go die of gout!

Get out, get out, get out!

Berk's no place for _your_ type to hang about!"

.

The boy was hurt and very mad

His black Dragon was just as cross

And so the boy firmly declared

"So be it, but this is _your_ loss!

But wait, but wait, but wait!

The children here deserve a better fate!

But wait! But wait! But wait!

I'll save them from you and this place of hate!"

.

He played his flute a second time

The youngsters approached then and there

They climbed onto the pleased dragons

And they flew off into the air

Taken, taken, taken!

The Vikings were horribly shaken

Taken, taken, taken!

Their rage was hot enough to fry bacon!

.

It's said the ones taken that day

Were thrilled with their new life style

And they lived much more happily

And called Berk's traditions 'vile'

Impeached, impeached, impeached

Were the violent ways Berk's elders had preached

Impeached, impeached, impeached!

And that's as far as this story has reached


	2. Chickens

**Chickens**

This poem is from Tuffnut's point of view.

.

My attitude is friendly towards food

For most vittles, my pulse quickens

I'm a big feeder and yet

There's one thing I just don't get

It's: why must people eat chickens?

.

Succulent fish makes a delightful dish

I crave gravy when it thickens

I'll chow down for a meal

A nice long tasty eel

But why must people eat chickens?

.

I do not dread the thought of eating something dead

I have no beef with beef, if seasoned with parsley

And my dear fork often prongs turkey, lamb, and pork

I'll even eat a mussel, if it's salted sparsely

.

Shortage of yak prompts a panic attack

And I fret when there's slim pickin's

And I'll gladly eat a deer

If it comes with lots of beer

But why must people eat chickens?  
.

I just don't know why this has to be so

And it bugs me like the dickens

And if I had my own way

Then starting from now, today

People would never eat chickens!

.

(The Chicken is pleased to know he feels this way!)


	3. Snotlout's Ode to Himself

**Snotlout's Ode to Himself**

This is basically Snotlout's theme song. It could apply to any point in the series.

.

I'm the toughest Viking the world has seen

Just say my name to my rivals

And they'll turn sickly green

I'm Snotlout

There's no one as amazing as me!

Why just for fun

I'd reach up and blot out the sun—

If I thought it was worth my precious energy

.

A list of my accomplishments

Would extend across the ocean

I'm cool and hot and I sure have got

Tons of fans fawning with devotion!

.

I'm Berk's greatest and most famous hero

I take on thousand men armies

And bring them to zero!

I'm Snotlout

There's no one as amazing as me

This name of mine

Will send a shiver down the spine

Of anyone who earns my animosity!

.

A list of opponents I've beat

Would stretch across the Atlantic

I'm hot and cool and make girls drool

And drive the jealous blokes frantic!

.

So you loser's best clear out of my way

Berk's number one guy has arrived

And he is here to stay!

I'm Snotlout

There's no one as amazing as me

And I'll make sport

Of anyone who dares to snort

Laugh and you'll end up living precariously!


	4. A Sunset Flight

**A Sunset Flight**

This is from Hiccup's perspective, pointing out the issues with going for a flight in bad weather.

.

If there has to be rain

It would sure be a pain

To have it come now

Oh how

My brow

Would crease in frustration

If the rain fell now

Let the clouds disappear

And let the sky be clear

Because I'm going for a sunset flight

.

Ever tried flying when soaking?

When the air and you are freezing?

It isn't very pleasing

And don't think that I'm joking!

.

And I don't want hail

For that would entail

Getting bruised and sore

Black eyes

Red thighs

Welts with inflammation

Each inch of me sore

Let the hail stay away

And fall another day

Because I'm going for a sunset flight

.

I don't think I'm a picky guy

But who likes to be out flying

When the weather is trying

To knock you out of the sky?

.

I don't fear a blizzard

When with my winged lizard

We can handle it

But still

The chill

Is an irritation

And don't I know it

I'd rather sense the gleam

Made by a warm sunbeam

Because I'm going for a sunset flight

.

Yes let the clouds be pink and red

When we go soaring our way through

It can snow a foot or two

Once I'm covered up in bed!


	5. I Hate Getting Second Place

**I Hate Getting Second Place**

An early and aborted project of mine was to turn the first movie into a musical. Act 2 would open with everyone gossiping about Hiccup's success in dragon training and then Astrid would sing about how she can't stand coming in second. Those lyrics were deleted, so I wrote a new poem with a similar title and subject matter.

.

I've had my name all of my life

I won't have it tainted by disgrace!

I'll let nothing bring me down

And make me a joke in town!

I hate getting second place

.

With a sword, club, axe, bow, or knife

I'll strike any setback in the face!

I'm out and fighting to gain

Honor that's mine to obtain

I hate getting second place

.

When they tell my story

It will be nearly all about

The honor and glory

That is mine beyond any doubt

.

In this world strength matters the most

Without it you're just a waste of space

No one will say that of me

When they've seen what I can be!

I hate getting second place

.

And my descendents all will boast

"She made every rival's heart race

She never was defeated

And she never once cheated

And never got second place!"

I want to be the best

If I'm not, then I live in shame

I will surpass the rest

No one's going to mock my name


	6. Yes It Hurts

**Yes It Hurts**

This poem is set shortly after the first movie, when Hiccup is still learning to live with the loss of his leg.

.

Woke up to see a bright and warm day dawn

I felt happy as I rose from my cot

And then remembered that my leg was gone

Yet found that it was still hurting a lot

.

Yes it hurts when I am still—and it hurts when I move

And never seems to improve

I do dozens of stretches—see healers each day

The pains never go away

.

I cannot recall a painless day at all

Now, something is always amiss

Am I now always going to be like this?

I try to act tough

But it's just so grueling

And I've had enough

.

All the things I used to enjoy before

Add too much strain and get denied to me

It's like I can't be happy anymore

And I'm scared of what my future might be

.

I keep trying to adjust—keep trying to stand tall

And then take a step and fall

And comforting words don't help—because no one can say

If the pain will go away

.

I get up and cry, I fall back and I sigh

Sensing the deepening sorrow

Trying to hope I'll be better tomorrow

Time alone will tell

Oh who am I fooling?

I'll never get well


	7. Climb Aboard

**Climb Aboard**

I knew I had to have a poem from the perspective of Toothless in this. This is set during the middle of the first movie, just when they've cemented their friendship and are discovering the joys of flying together.

.

I'm coming with you—it will always be us two

There is nothing out there that can keep us apart

We're going to see how strange the wide world can be

.

I can take you where no one has gone

To sights beyond the imagination

We can soar through clouds and touch the stars

And fly into the dawn

We'll defy every expectation

.

So climb aboard—the sun's climbing

And it's high time that we did the same

I could go alone—the sun's climbing

But I'd feel a lot better if you came

.

Let's break the limits

You and I

I'll show you the majesty of the sky

I've never wanted to show it

To anyone I've known until we met

.

You're coming with me—it's where you were born to be

On my back, with an adventure about to start

There's nothing we two will be unable to do

.

Let's taste true freedom and chase the sun

We'll stop for nothing and not slow our pace

And once we've gone down this path of ours

We'll astound everyone

Who said 'those two are just waste of space'

.

So climb aboard—the day's aging

And what's waiting out there, who can tell?

We could remain here—the day's again

If you chose that, I'd hate it but stay as well

.

Yes, I would stay here

If you did

Though I'm a dragon and you're just a kid

You're my best friend and you know it

That's a truth I hope we'll never forget


	8. When She Looks At Me

**When She Looks at Me**

A romantic poem about Hiccup and Astrid was another obvious subject. In this I tried to focus on the feelings of anybody who is attracted to someone and endless debates in their mind whether or not their feelings are reciprocated. I imagine everyone has some idea about what that is like.

.

When she looks at me

With a smile on her beautiful face

I wonder if the sight I see

Is too sacred for human eyes

But does she realize

The effect she has on me?

.

When she speaks to me

My heart pounds at an almost bursting pace

I'd love nothing more than to be

The one she always confides in

I'd be honored to win

Such a confidence in me

.

But am I reading too much from her?

Are these just smiles and words and nothing more?

Am I over analyzing here?

Focusing on what normal people ignore?

.

But what if she's asking the same things?

Do I have the bravery to ask her straight?

Is she hoping that I will some day?

Or are we both afraid we've left it too late?

.

When I look at her

I wish I could tell what she is thinking

Then all of this uncertainty

Would not plague me all night and day

Then I'd know in what way

I am regarded by her

.

When I speak to her

My confidence keeps growing and shrinking

It comes and then chooses to flee

I start to speak my mind and pause

Hesitating because

I think I'm in love with her

.

But am I reading too much from her?

And am I reading too much from me, per chance?

Am I overanalyzing here?

Could this be just imaginary romance?

.

But what if she's asking the same things?

Are we both torn between longing and doubt?

Will this become clear to us, someday?

How am I ever going to sort this out?


	9. Yaknog

**Yaknog**

I wrote this around Christmastime. It's pure nonsense.

.

Yaknog, when they served you out

Bringing your sludge to me in a heavy cup

I drank you dutifully

And promptly felt like spewing you out and up

You hit my stomach like a brick load

And made my poor guts want to explode

Yaknog, I haven't a clue

Of how some are fully willing to drink you!


	10. A Sheep's Rallying Song

**A Sheep's Rallying Song**

I've always thought the sheep were the unsung stars of the second movie. Yet despite the hilarity, I think the sheep of Berk must have a rough life. I also love the "Far Side" comics by Gary Larsen where farm animals rebel against their farmers. So for this, I thought, what if the sheep rose up and took over Berk?

.

We have it rough

We've had enough!

The three bags of tolerance are overflowing!

We're sick of the way that all our lives are going!

.

We're abused sheep!

Treated dirt cheap!

While those humans cheer and drink mead by the gallons

We're thrown into the air to be seized by talons!

.

Fancy always having dragons eyeing you

Waiting to get you in their jaws?

Fancy having Vikings raise and protect you

Just so they can slaughter you when you're fat?

Even the dogs can hardly wait

To get our bodies in between their paws!

This horrid fate

Is a candle we are going to snuff!

.

Fancy dragon racers fighting over you

Cramming you into bags for points?  
Possessed by those who won't share the house with you

Though they share it with the dog and the cat!

We live outside in muck and rain

You know, the cold is bad for our poor joints!

Life's such a pain

And that is why we're saying now "ENOUGH!"

.

We're standing firm

We will not squirm

At last we sheep shall rise up and march united

Wrongs which have been heaped upon us shall be righted!

.

Arise at last!

Throw off the past!

We will make these cruel dragons and Vikings weep!

From this day forward Berk shall be managed by sheep!


	11. I Try To Love You

**I Try To Love You**

This is from Stoick's point of view about his relationship with his son before their reconciliation.

.

I try to love you

But ev'ry thing you do

Drives me up a wall

You don't succeed in ways I want

It ways you ought to

In ways you need to

.

I try to bridge the gap and I fall

Or you pull away

I try to cross the threshold

You shut the door

I don't really know what I can try anymore

.

I try to love you

But I don't have a clue

Of how to converse

You won't hear me when I'm talking

Of what sons tend to

And what Chiefs see to

.

And often when we talk things get worse

And you pull away

So distant, so strange, so cold

Moments are rare

What happened to the happy times we used to share?

.

I try to love you

And it pierces me through

To ask why I try

Yet I ask it incessantly

More than I'd like to

Ever admit to

.

Should I give up at last? Let hope die?

Let you pull away?

End a love that's grown too old?

What can I do?

I wanted you to outshine me; why haven't you?


	12. The Stoker Class

**The Stoker Class**

I am a Stoker

The greatest of classes of dragons

My body is strong, flammable, and limber

I am a Stoker

My fire surpasses all dragons

I can reduce, within heartbeats, to ashes strong timber

.

Celsius, Kelvin

Fahrenheit—oh my!

I'm hot, whichever you go by

My flame's redder than blood

My smoke's blacker than night!

.

I am a Stoker

Few would dare to fight me, though I like

To turn my foes into embers and marrow

I am a Stoker

Watch the flames ignite me when I like

They can shoot out faster and truer than any arrow!

.

Celsius, Kelvin

Fahrenheit—oh my!

I'm hot, whichever you go by

My eyes blaze like the sun

They're just about as bright!

.

I am a Stoker

Hail and idolize my talents!

Watch me fly and you'll witness sheer majesty

I am a Stoker

Praise me or otherwise such talents

Will be used to turn your existence to pure misery!

.

Celsius, Kelvin

Fahrenheit—oh my!

I'm hot, whichever you go by

And ferocious besides

I'm personified Fright!


	13. I'll Play Their Game

**I'll Play Their Game**

This poem was written sometime in the spring of 2015. As I recall, I had been listening to some dark songs from Broadway musicals, such as 'No Good Deed' from _Wicked_ and 'Fie on Goodness' from _Camelot_ , and I had the idea to write a poem on a similar theme. I imagined a powerful and dynamic Hiccup standing alone in a high and dark tower, declaring his ties to Berk and his family broken forever.

I completely forgot about this poem for a long time, and then one night recently I suddenly rediscovered it and realized it would be a good addition to this collection.

.

Dismissing the good I've done

No kindness from anyone

Within my dark mind I can see

All of their hate filled glares

.

I wanted to show them all

But they loved seeing me crawl

How much they jeered and laughed at me

And shouted "no one cares!"

.

I swore I would prove them wrong

That like them I could be strong

And look where that oath brought me to

Shunned far worse than before

.

One brief hope and it was gone

My life is night without dawn

What is there left for me to do?

I can't take it anymore!

.

I tried

And cried

But no one responded

Denied I'll hide

Like one who's absconded

Or maybe not…

.

If they don't want me I don't want them

They laugh now but it will come back to haunt them

I'll play their game

A game in which might makes it right

They only have themselves to blame

And I'll torment them and taunt them

.

With my hand I shatter my old vow

A greater one I shall swear right here and now

I'll play their game

And make them all cower in fright

They'll shiver when they hear my name

And before me in fear they'll bow

.

I'm all through with being nice

Let my heart freeze into ice

Let me put remorse away

.

I will seize life by the throat

Let all the heavens take note

Of what I decree today

.

I will show the world that I can be

The master of it and then they all will see

I'll play their game

And laugh as they attempt to fight

Let their town be engulfed in flame

Let them try to reason with me

I'll play their game and drive them all to the wall

Have not all leaders done the same?

.

When I located the truth

They laughed at my size and youth

Saying how could a thing like me

Find something they knew not?

.

They refused to see or hear

Either in habit or fear

Fear that I'd change the history

And let tradition's rot

.

They looked so much to the past

When they saw the truth at last

They called me demon and traitor

They clamored for my head

.

They're going to regret it

Don't think I will forget it

They carried this day but later

They'll wish they all were dead

.

But wait

This fate

Might be too dark for you

Abate this hate

Or their words might come true

Or maybe not…

.

Let the world turn into ash and dust

From it this phoenix will rise young and robust

I'll play their game

They wanted me do, didn't they?

Like the sea I'll never be tame

I'll be this way because I must

.

They tried to beat out my compassion

Saying it was severely out of fashion

I'll play their game

And that's how I'm going to stay

Let the healthy turn blind and lame

Let plagues come and leave them ashen

.

They hated all my kindness

Now I'll end my own blindness

And see the world as I should

.

It's a world of tooth and claw

That's the one and only law

There is no wrong and no good

.

Freed from my chains I can live at last

Let those fools live in their glorified past

I'll play their game

And woe to those who won't obey

Those are the ones I'll let death claim

And for many it won't be fast

I'll play their game and see them die or comply

This will forever be my aim!


	14. I Want More

**I Want More**

 _I Want More_ is about the never ending desire for more information which intellectuals face, as well as a dreamer's desire to experience for real what they have only read and thought about. It is a poem which Fishlegs might identify with.

.

As a young man I have studied

Devoured every book that's come my way

While others got their swords bloodied

I've been in my room reading

Until my eyes were nearly bleeding

Learning all I possibly can

And now that I'm an older man

I find I'm still hungry for knowledge today

.

I'm smarter than ever before

But knowing so much does not satisfy

I'm always longing to learn more

I want no more confusion

And to each question, a conclusion

And I wish much of what I've read

Did not exist just in my head

The fact that these are fictional makes me sigh

.

I try to meditate and calm my mind

Breathe in, breathe out

I try to leave my desires behind

And tell myself I have all that I need

Words I later doubt

I know part of this is simply greed

And, to my chagrin

I know however much I wish and plead

I'll never find what I'm looking for

Breathe out, breathe in

But the longing throbs like a touched cold sore

.

I want more, but never gain it

I want more than words and etches

I try and try to obtain it

I want facts, I want answers

But they whirl away like dancers

I want to live in what I know

Not just use my knowledge for show

I want to see more than the artful sketches

.

I've crammed knowledge into my brain

Is that all that I get to do with it?

I'm asking this time and again

My learning's are vast and deep

I can chant statistics in my sleep

But what good are such things to me

If there is naught more they can be?

I want more, and it drives me mad, I admit


	15. Another One

**Another One**

One of Hiccup's characteristics is his ideas and projects are often ahead of the times and, at least initially, are dismissed and underappreciated by others.

.

Here's another one designed to please you

Will I get any recognition this time?

I've been working so hard

Playing every card

But silence is the kindest reward I've gotten

.

Here's another one meant to impress you

But the way some talk, you'd think it was a crime

Oh I've heard all the shouts

From the people with doubts

Who claim all my hard work is useless and rotten

.

Succeed and you're a genius

Fail and you're a fool

The sycophants are horrified

When you break one little rule

People want the mind stagnant

I want mine sharp as a knife

I've got to design and create

Not be complacent my whole life

Now either the world is messed up or I am

Which is it?

.

Share your thoughts and dreams and your ideals

But only if they're what people want to hear

Build novel inventions

With the best intentions

Then put them all away behind a closet door

.

Here's another one, but what's it matter?

Soon recollection of it will disappear

I make something to last

But it's lost with the past

And past achievements are so easy to ignore

.

Succeed and you're a genius

Fail and you're a fool

Your worst is praised and honored

Your best is treated like drool

I try to improve our lives

No one heeds what I offer

It seems no one wants improvements

If they don't fill someone's coffer

Now either the world is messed up or I am

Which is it?


	16. The Destruction of Fort Fractured Skull

**The Destruction of Fort Fractured Skull**

I wanted to write a poem about the Dragon King, paying homage to my first and most popular Fanfiction. Out of all the poems here, this one took the longest to write.

.

The Vikings of Berk and her sister tribes

Were swarmed with rumors and uncertain reports

The same could be said for the mainland of Europe

Tensions were rife in the villages, castles, and forts

For, as recorded by the local scribes

A man was seen at sea and along the coast

A man on the back of a mighty black dragon

A dragon rider, and called "The Dragon King" by most

Yes, "Dragon King", and no amount of bribes

Could convince witnesses he was just a myth

And it alarmed and frightened the authorities

To learn of the dragon flock he often traveled with

The strength of such beasts was so well known few were at ease

To think some man lived among them, somewhere amidst the seas

The Pagans prayed to theirs gods, the Christians to the Trinity

When the word went 'round "The Dragon King is in the vicinity!"

.

And to those who hunted dragons for sport

Or captured them to sell their bones, hearts, and hides

Or hurt a dragon in any way save defense

To them he was as rough as the ever surging tides

When a dragon trapping vessel left port

It was unlikely to return with a prize

It would be lucky, in fact, to return at all

A fact most hunters were very quick to realize

These men once sold dragons of ev'ry sort

But thanks to the King, profits swiftly declined

And the most angered by this, out of all the world

Was Drago Bludvist; a more monstrous man you'll not find

Hungry for conquest and power he had built a host

Filled with savage men and dragons to slaughter, crush, and roast

From his headquarters in Fort Fractured Skull he readied this force

Convinced that, once begun, nothing could halt it on its chosen course

.

Now on a tranquil day in the late spring

All about Fractured Skull seemed standard and calm

Nothing to distinguish this day from all others

Waves lapped the Fort's walls; the soft sea breeze was full of balm

Drago could not think of a single thing

That he'd left undone for the campaign coming

His men were armed, his dragons broken into slaves

And his targets knew not they'd soon hear War's drum drumming

Then a sentry cried "Dragons on the wing!"

From the sea, it seemed, a massive flock arose

Heading straight for Fractured Skull like swarms of hornets

Dragons of every known shape and size and more than those

And at their head were the Black Dragon and his Rider

Each looking just as friendly as a tunnel web spider

As men on the Fort ran frantically raising the alarm  
The King yelled "Only the ones who leave right now will not come to harm!"

.

Despite Drago's shouts, many turned and fled

With such men, loyalty's the thinnest of sticks

Some stayed but swiftly regretted the decision

For the flock slammed into the Fort like that many bricks

Flames burst forth from their jaws; the sky turned red

Their tails pounded against the walls of stone

Masonry crumbled as war machines burned away

Men in squads suddenly found themselves standing alone

But the dragons in contrast were well led

The King was in the front and fought like a fiend

As Fractured Skull was fractured beyond healing

They went to work freeing the dragons Drago had gleaned

Thick clouds of smoke blocked the sun, making it hard to see

Below, the ocean and island were cluttered with debris

And Drago, who always swore revenge and vowed never to quit

This relentless man of ferocious strength was forced to run for it

.

The captives tasted sweet freedom at last

If they could have shed tears they would have done so

But some too broken to fly or move without aid

Some were so abused, of these events they did not know

The King nearly broke as they shuffled past

Assuring them that the nightmare would now cease

The movement was soon underway to transport all

To the King's secret Sanctuary, a place of peace

Then the Night Fury shot a plasma blast

And they destroyed the Fort to the foundation

Literally wiping it off of the Earth's face

A display of their rage and this fight's escalation

Back to the Sanctuary they went, proud of this day

Would that all their conflicts with humans finish this way!

The King had hopes the fight with Drago was now nearing its end

And he'd learned of a gathering of Chiefs which he planned to attend…


	17. Mildew's Nighttime Walk

**Mildew's Nighttime Walk**

After writing several long and heavy poems I wanted something shorter and lighter to balance the collection out.

.

On a spring night old Mildew was taking a walk

Admiring his cabbage garden and the withered bean stalk

When he heard a loud ruckus from the tool shed

"What's all the noise?" he yelled, and for a response these words were said:

.

"There's no one here but us poor cabbages!

We're just playing Maces and Talons

Having some fun and having some tea

We've already drunk several gallons

There's no one here but us poor cabbages!"

"Good," Mildew said, "I was just checking,

I thought it might be those Thorsten pests

Or the Fishbone and Astrid necking!"

.

So Old Mildew cheerfully resumed his night walk

But stopped and turned back when he remembered cabbages can't talk!

And he stealthily crept up on the tool shed

Then burst in and grabbed the Thorsten's by the ears before they fled!

.

"So, no one's here but you poor cabbages!

I'll beat you little rats blue and black!"

"Let us go!" they cried, "We meant no harm!

We only meant to blow up your shack!

Oh my gosh! Terrors in the cabbages!"

Mildew spun around and saw this was true

He rushed over to shoo them away

And the Twins vanished into the blue!

.

Thus, Old Mildew always goes out for a night's walk

Armed with a club resembling a gigantic piece of chalk

He makes his rounds around his garden, hut, and shed

Knowing out in the darkness wicked Twin plots are being bred!


	18. Heather's Poem

**Heather's Poem**

This is set shortly after the "Have Dragon Will Travel" episodes.

.

Sitting on a mountain side

With Windshear at my side

No other living soul around

And that's fine with me

Because I'm not sure I want to be found

.

I've learned who my parents were

Learned where and what they were

All of my presumptions were wrong

My sworn enemy

Turned out to be my brother all along

.

So what now?

Was my past all for naught?

So what now?

.

I go on crying myself to sleep

Never has my life felt so dirt cheap

I see the sun shine bright as it can

And shout to those up there "What's the plan?"

What are they up to? What's this game of theirs?

Is there even one? Where's someone who cares?

I've got to know why things went this route

How can my own life get sorted out?

Is there a purpose to all of this?

If so, why do events always seem to go amiss?

.

How it plagues me each night and day

The questions linger, never going away

A chronic headache of self doubt

As I ponder my identity and worth

Where do I fit in on this earth?

What is my existence meant to be about?

Just what am I supposed to be?

Is there no one who can explain this to me?

.

Agonized I clench my head

A storm's inside my head

The future looks sunless as night

No one's here to say

"It's going to work out and be all right,"

.

Work out? How will that happen?

How ought it to happen?

I feel like the time has come

To select my way

But the dread of choosing wrong leaves me numb

.

So what now?

Which pathway should be sought?

So what now?

.

The Past, mistaken, the Future, grim

And the Present, painful to the brim

How'd I come here from where I began?

I shout to those up there "What's the plan?"

What are they up to? How is this to end?

Is an end coming? What do they intend?

I need an answer; some guarantee

That a better time's coming for me

But much more than that, I need to know

Who am I really and just where do I want to go?


	19. The Debate

**The Debate**

It was suggested I write a poem for each of the 5 main dragons in the series. I did not feel inclined to writing that many poems and feared they would be too similar and monotonous, so I put this one together instead. Upon reflection, I think this is the very first time I have ever written dialogue for Barf n' Belch.

.

In the stables on the Edge, late one night

The dragons got into a verbal fight

When Stormfly declared Astrid was the best

Out of all their riders, without contest

At once the others cried she was "Not right!"

.

"Hiccup's the best" Toothless flatly stated

"It was he who got us integrated

Thanks to him I'm once more able to fly

Who do we look to when trouble is nigh?  
He's the best and Astrid' overrated!"

.

Stormfly growled, "Without her, he'd be lost!

Who's pulled him up when he's bowed down by cost?

She's ten times stronger and a born leader!

Even Hiccup knows how much we need her!

Without Astrid this group would melt like frost!"

.

Barf n' Belch said simultaneously

"Ruff and Tuff act so insaneously

All the mayhem they cause is tons of fun

Without them boredom would kill everyone

Your riders behave so plaineously!"

.

Hookfang drew himself up. "I disagree.

Burning Snotlout's rear is sure fun to me!

Without us hot boys by you in battle

You'd all run off like a herd of cattle!

Nope, we're the best pair here. It's plain to see!"

.

"You're all mistaken," Meatlug gently said

"Fishlegs is tough and has brains in his head

Your humans all the time ask for his aid

He's the most reliable human made

Without his mind and staunchness we'd be dead!"

.

Thus each one had their arguments down pat

And was set to squash opposition flat

Yet all were biased in choosing the best

For each loved their human above the rest

But just what, pray tell me, was wrong with that?


	20. Ruffnut's Big Night

**Ruffnut's Big Night**

Despite its relative shortness, this one was a hard one to write. You have to be in the right kind of mood to write this sort of poem, and I frequently found myself not in that mood when I would sit down to work on it.

.

Ruffnut put ribbons in her hair

Singing "Oh yes, Beadle-dee-dee!

Wait 'til he sees me!

He'll fall in love with me this time, I swear!"

.

Yes, Eret son of Eret

Was to her human perfection

How often did her dreamy gaze

Wander in his direction?

Unrequited love is hard

And she meant to end it tonight

Her looks would put him in a daze

And from that moment on

He'd never let her leave his sight!

.

"Oh, to snuggle against his stone-like chest!

Oh, he's like a god but better!

Oh, he's the one for me!

Oh, he's so perfect; the absolute best!

Oh, I'm so caught in Love's fetter!

Oh yes, Beadle-dee-dee!"

.

She walked out dressed up to the nines

Singing "Oh yes, Beadle-dee-dee!

Look out, here comes me

To win him for whom my heart pines!"

.

With such a motivation

She strolled like a rooster through town

Her buff dreamy darling to find

But in time she had to frown

Frown with frustration she did

Where _was_ he, who fit all her needs?

Then a memory came to mind:

Her sweet Eret had gone

Sent by the Chief to trade with Swedes!


	21. What Have I Done?

**What Have I Done?**

The same reviewer who suggested what would become _The Debate_ also suggested I write another poem from the perspective of Toothless. I was quite taken with the idea, but I'm pretty sure this is not what they'd had in mind.

.

I feel like I've snapped out of a dream

Where am I? What has happened?

My best friend pushes me away and starts to scream

But…but why? What has happened?

His sire lies motionless in the snow

It's almost as if he is—no

My eyes widen and I shake my head

No, he can't be dead

If so, then how? What took his life?

And my heart freezes with dread

I see it now…

.

But it couldn't possibly be my fault!

It can't be! I would never!

I didn't bring this man's life to a halt!

I…not me! I would never!

This is all a bluff, a sham—no

The awful truth I fight to evade

Pierces like a blade:

I was the one: I took his life

I see those whom I've betrayed

What have I done?


	22. Valka's Poem

**Valka's Poem**

This would be set at some point prior to Valka meeting Hiccup in the second movie.

.

The human soul is like a river

Always restlessly coursing and reshaping

Is it a dream from which there's no escaping?

Dwelling on answers makes me shiver

.

Yet, looking down from this great height

Where boulders look like pebbles

And glaciers are the size of my hand

My heart is no longer contrite

I cease to fear the future

I'm ready for all that fate has planned

The sun in the sky is so bright

The sea so calm and tranquil

That I see no problems in this land

The ground is untouched and pure white

The air's rejuvenating

I stop feeling Want and Demand

I'm free as the stars of the night

And happier than ever

Troubles are lost like sifted sand

Such are the effects of this sight

It feels so wonderful

So much that I cannot understand…

.

Why must things exist like hate and pride?

Why can't this beauty be enough for all?

Why must we always listen to Want's shrill call?

Why can't we, for once, be satisfied?


	23. Thinking About You

**Thinking About You**

When writing poetry I often write the stanzas out of sequence. On such occasions I number each stanza and then write a list in the margins indicating what the final ordering will be. With this poem the list went like this: 3, 7, 1, 4, 5, 6, 2. this means, among other things, that the first stanza written is placed third and the pair of two-line stanzas was written last.

This is a love poem from Astrid's point of view. I'll bet you can't guess who she's thinking about!

.

Thinking about you

That's what I often do

Judging the distances we've travelled

The places we've seen, the secrets we have unraveled

.

I found sadness on some

But you were always there to keep me going

.

I strongly repent

All those years that I spent

Trying to ignore and dismiss you

Ironic that now I don't fight the urge to kiss you

.

I still perfectly recall that first flight

Soaring through a golden sky

And then there was that other time before night

When I sat with you nearby

It was not our first kiss but I knew then you were mine

.

And many a day

You've snatched my breath away

With your acts of honor and kindness

They're so rare in a world that ignores its own blindness

.

You're as rare as they come

If not, would my love for you keep on growing?

.

So special to me

That's what you'll always be

Though circumstance may pull us apart

You'll always be the only one possessing my heart


	24. Woes of the Village Blacksmith

**Woes of the Village Blacksmith**

I had nearly considered this collection finished when I realized I had not written anything about Gobber! I set about to correct this at once.

.

The name's Gobber; blacksmith, dentist, and sometime's Chief

An' let me tell you, these jobs can bring a lot of grief

A never endin' string of work with no relief

Drivin' me mad like chiggers do

.

Once a man burst in roarin' "This 'ere's a stickup!"

He wanted all the valuables I could pick up

But he turned me down when I offered him Hiccup!

(I didn't! I'm joking with you!)

.

Once a man came in requestin' a sword be built

With his son's name nicely engraved along the sword's hilt

But the lad's name was, an' I quote:

'He-Whose-Breath-Smells-Better-Than-The-Privy-But-Can-Still-Make-A-Poor-Flower-Wilt'

Now, very confidentially, I ask you

What's a poor crippled blacksmith supposed to do?

.

An' those pesky trolls and Boneknappers never cease

To nab my stuff an' deprive me of a moment's peace

I'd give out a million bundles of sheep fleece

For a theft free second or two!

.

I'm an easy man but I reckon I must confess

The demands are too much an' my body's a bad mess

An' I could sure use a break from all this distress

Or I might end up like Mildew!


	25. Food

**Food**

This is a poem the Red Death might bellow at the dragons in her nest. I had it in mind early on but forgot about it. Then, a few days ago, I thought I ought to write something about the villains in the series, and wrote this poem the following morning.

.

NOW:

When I wake up, whenever that might be

I am in a real bad mood

And can only be appeased by food

So if you dragons want a happy me

There's only one way I'll be wooed

And that's by bringing me lots of food!

.

All you mothers and sires listen here:

I'll consume each and ev'ry brood

If you don't all bring me lots of food!

You can bring me fish, sheep cows, birds, or deer

Or humans, fully clothed or nude

But just make sure I get lots of food!

.

I've got a stomach that needs to be fed

(It helps maintain my pulchritude)

So you all better bring lots of food

Fly with all your catches over my head

And drop them in my waiting jaws

Just—if you don't know you're a lost cause!

.

When you fly you better not stop for breaks

Or try to pull off something shrewd

Or I might turn you into my food!

I don't care how much energy it takes

Or if you think me harsh or rude

So long as you bring me lots of food

NOW!


	26. The Dragon Class Song

**The Dragon Class Song**

In concept this one promised to be fun, quick, and easy. In reality, it was pretty much the opposite. First, I discovered there were 7 Dragon classes, not 6 as I had thought, so I had to write more. Then I discovered that most of the dragon species names don't rhyme with others. And then I faced a genuine challenge with formatting this poem, and had to put it all onto an excel spreadsheet in order to get it the way I wanted. And then I had to reformat it all over again on the Fanfiction website.

 **Tracker Class** :

When it comes to Classes, the Trackers stand

As the greatest hunters in the land

Our senses are sharp, our ears keen

Nothing gets past our eyes unseen

Not to mention our beautiful skin!

Other species eye us with chagrin!

We're so neat!

 **Other Dragons** :

They're so neat!

 **Tracker Class** :

Trackers can't be beat!

 **Terrible Terrors** :

Nostrils in their feet!

 **Tracker Class** :

We've got Deadly Nadders, Mudrakers, and as sure as you're born

There are Windgnashers, Snufflehunches, and the tough Rumblehorn!

We'll track you down, try whatever you might!

.

 **Strike Class** :

The Trackers inflate how great they are

For the Strike Class nothing is on par

We strike down foes with little fuss

We let only the best train us

To them, we're eternally loyal

And our talents are downright royal!

Ferocious!

 **Other Dragons** :

Ferocious!

 **Strike Class** :

And so velocious!

 **Other Dragons** :

With breath atrocious!

 **Strike Class** :

We've got Skrills, Thread Tails, and Snow Wraiths that endure snow flurries

Triple Strikes, Wooly Howls, and, of course, the rare Night Furies

We're the most powerful dragons all right!

.

 **Stoker Class** :

You're all a bunch of hopeless jokers

Not like us, because we're the Stokers!

We can set ourselves on fire!

 **Terrible Terrors** :

We can sing just like a choir!

 **Other Stokers** :

Shut up! Think of our reputations!

Only the great cause conflagrations!

We're so hot!

 **Other Dragons** :

They're so hot!

 **Stoker Class** :

And that says a lot!

 **Other Dragons** :

No it sure does not!

 **Stoker Class** :

We've got Hobblegrunts, Singetails, and the Monstrous Nightmare

Moldruffles, Flame Whippers, Typhoomerangs, and the Solar Flare

There's not a thing on earth we can't ignite!

.

 **Mystery Class** :

The Mystery Class stays elusive

Steeped in shadow, never obtrusive!

 **Other Dragons** :

You cowards just prefer to hide!

 **Mystery Class** :

No, this is a matter of pride!

Of us there's little any can say

We delight in keeping it that way

We're unknown

 **Other Dragons** :

They're unknown

 **Mystery Class** :

And our name alone

Chills all to the bone!

We've got Dramillions, Buffalords, Slithersongs, and Sweet Deaths

Gobsuckers, Flightmares, Sword Stealers, and Smothering Smokebreaths

We're the source of your dreams brimming with fright!

.

 **Tidal Class** :

All we've heard is far has just been crass

Because nothing tops the Tidal Class!

We can live in the sea—can you?

We're expert swimmers through and through!

Like sharks, we're constantly in motion

But don't go near our stretch of ocean!

We're cool!

 **Other Dragons** :

They're cool!

 **Tidal Class** :

Live by a pool!

Make the rest drool!

We've got Luminous Krayfins, Bewilderbeasts, Sliquifiers

Scauldrons, Tide Gliders, Thunderdrums; swimmers, crawlers, flyers!

We can reach the depths and the highest height!

.

 **Boulder Class** :

We're the Boulder Class; we're tough as rocks!

Next to us you're all weak as old socks!

 **Other Dragons** :

Your stomachs are full of rubble!

 **Boulder Class** :

Ha! It doesn't cause us trouble!

We can make metal; our eggs explode

And we can blend in with a geode!

We're so tough!

 **Other Dragons** :

They're so tough!

Their skin is so rough!

 **Boulder Class** :

Watch us wreck a bluff!

We've got Catastrophic Quakens, Hotburples, Grapple Grounders

Coaldrons and Gronkles, some of whom are 5000 pounders!

Each pound packed with the strength of syenite!

.

 **Sharp Class** :

We're the Sharp Class and we are awesome

 **Other Dragons** :

and smell as sweet as a dead possum!

 **Sharp Class** :

Watch it, or we'll slice up your guts!

Our bodies are made to cause cuts

We can split plates of iron in two

And we're sleeker than any of you!

We're so great!

 **Other Dragons** :

They're so great!

 **Sharp Class** :

Yes, we are first rate

All should celebrate!

We've got Stormcutters, Scuttle Claws, Timberjacks, the Hackatoo

Razorwhips and Speed Stingers. Prickleboggles? We've got a few

Keep your distance because we sure can bite!

.

 **All Dragons** :

All around we hear praising

It has to be acknowledged

That Dragons are amazing!


	27. Dawn and Night

**Dawn and Night**

The first part of this was inspired by the CD I happened to be listening to at the time. The person being described is Astrid.

I

Mist softly rises

Above a lake clear and still

The unseen birds sing

.

Yawning she rises

Stretching to fight the air's chill

What will this day bring?

.

Fondly she gazes

At her friends still fast asleep

Upon the damp ground

.

And then she gazes

At the light starting to creep

Down the mountain pass

.

It's a brand new day

She can't remain in one place

She cannot just sit

.

It's a golden day

A day of beauty and grace

She has to join it

.

II

The day has ended

She's sitting upon the shore

Staring at the lake

.

The moon's ascended

Glowing much like silver ore

High above the lake

.

She breathes in slowly

The air is fresh and cool

Gentle on her face

.

Crickets chirp lowly

A toad sits on a stool

With a stiff, grim face

.

She gets to her feet

And picks her way back to camp

Where her dear friends sleep

.

Wrapping a thin sheet

She blows out the hanging lamp

And drifts off to sleep

.

III

Begun with delight

Ended with a blissful peace

Such is a good day


	28. Brothers in All But Blood

**Brothers in All But Blood**

In reviewing _What Have I Done?_ 'ThatGuyWhoAlwaysSingsHisCommentsWithA":-D"' said "I really look forward to the next update, and the next poem from Toothless' POV! May it be on a happier note!" I interpreted this to mean: write another poem with Toothless and make it happy! So here it is.

.

 **Hiccup** :

Brothers in all but blood

That's the way I phrase it

And we both know it's true

 **Toothless** :

Brothers in all but blood'

This dragon 'okay's' it

Just as he 'okay's' you

 **Hiccup** :

Whether high in the sky

 **Toothless** :

Or deep beneath the ground

 **Both** :

Where one is the other will always be found

 **Hiccup** :

Because you're my brother

In all ways except blood

.

Without a single care we soar through the air

We've turn it into an art

 **Toothless** :

And this wonderful guy pulls off stunts to try

To stop my breathing and heart!

.

 **Hiccup** :

You love it just like me

And you know it's a fact

As sure as your skin's black!

 **Toothless** :

I sometimes disagree

With the way that you act

But I'll still have your back

Whether fighting hunters

 **Hiccup** :

Or mending my hut's porch

 **Toothless** :

Or facing the mother of that hatchling named Torch!

 **Both** :

You act like a brother

In all ways except blood

.

 **Hiccup** :

And I've made it a vow that I won't allow

Anything to harm my Bud

 **Toothless** :

And I'll gladly destroy those who hurt my boy

And call him 'Useless' and 'Dud'!

.

 **Both** :

Brothers in all but blood

Two portions now complete

Strengthened over the years

When you're down in the mud

I'll help you to your feet

And wipe away your tears

 **Toothless** :

So what if we're cripples?

 **Hiccup** :

Or What others abhor?

 **Both** :

We've got one another and who could ask for more?

We're best friends and brothers

In all ways except blood!


	29. Hey Freya

**Hey Freya**

The line in the previous poem "we've got one another and who could ask for more?" bothered me afterwards. Every time I think of it I think "what about Astrid?" She must have thought the same thing in the episode "Mi Amore Wing." And Hiccup's reaction is:

.

Hey Freya, can I have a word with you?

Can you give some help

To this miserable whelp?

I'm supposing, since you're a Goddess you

Know all about it

Still I'm going to shout it:

I'm sitting slouched and dejectedly

Because Astrid's just rejected me

.

The only woman I have ever loved

Has broken it off

Torn it up like bits of cloth

She feels that she is no longer loved

Taken for granted

How did this thought get planted?

.

I know I really am an idiot

Not to comprehend

How I hurt my love and friend

But that's why this now-single guy

Is begging for aid

With this mess that he has made

I'll never know a moment of bliss

Until I put right all that's amiss

How do I fix this?


	30. The True Story

**The** _ **True**_ **Story of How Trader Johann Was Completely Vanquished**

 **As Dictated by Snotlout Jorgenson**

It was during the good summer time

The Viking world was in its prime

When all of a sudden, from parts unknown

Came an army intent of installing its own throne

.

Swarms of dragons with men on their backs

Launching unstoppable attacks

The tribes were about to split like a shoe

People cried out in desperation "What shall we do?"

.

Then from the black clouds emerged a guy

Awestruck girls gasped "Oh me oh my!"

Indeed he was hot as a cauldron top

And, gracefully and grandly, he said "I'll make them stop!"

.

There must have been a thousand or more

Of these Dragon Flyers!

Destroying homes and lives!

Looting and causing fires!

And there was only one

Yes, only one man

Who could stop them and their leader:

The evil Trader Johann!

.

He went in, though the odds looked so bad

They came at him with all they had

But it wasn't enough! He dodged them all!

And with ease he threw Johann into an icy wall!

.

The fight was fierce and went on and on

But Johann found each hope soon gone

Our hero swung and cut him into three

And threw the bloody pieces in the howling sea!

.

Johann's men were stunned and of no worth

They fled to the corners of the earth!

And that is how real peace came about

All thanks to that handsome, noble warrior: Snotlout!

.

" _Snotlout, this isn't what happened_!"

" _Shut up, you one-legged twit! This is_ _my_ _story_!"


	31. A Tidal Class Chantey

**A Tidal Class Chantey**

I had a lot of requirements for this one. I wanted something that was short, that was neither too funny nor overly dark and serious, and I wanted it to focus on a subject I had not explored much (in other words, I didn't want it to be from Hiccup's perspective). I got the idea when I was out walking. It was a nice day so first I thought of writing a dragon's hymn to the sun, but then my mind went in the opposite direction and the idea became a poem about the sea.

.

Dwelling deep beneath the waves

Where the sunlight never braves

Stirring all around with restless life

In constant, shifting motion

Where the humans only reach

When their ship's hull has a breach

Where the luminous reside

Far from the shore and the tide

That is where I make the home for me

In the depths of the ocean


	32. Waiting-Anticipating

**Waiting…Anticipating**

The final two poems in this collection are designed to counter each other in tone, message, and content. Here is presented the hopes, desires, and ambitions of both the villainous and the compassionate.

.

There's a cold star in the sky tonight

The wind cries like a ghost

Yes, the time is right

.

While others laughed and played

And in ignorance celebrated

We waited

Plotting in the shadows

Preparing while acting deflating

And waiting

.

Waiting—to take the field with a blast of thunder

Anticipating—taking all we want as we burn and plunder

.

Waiting—to line up the maidens and cut off their heads

Anticipating—slaughtering the old and the young in their beds

.

Waiting—to take down these Riders and fill them with holes

Anticipating—parading through towns with their heads stuck on poles

.

Spread the word! Spread the fear!

You'd better run and hide

Your worst nightmares are here!

Spread the word! Spread the fear!

Throw kindness to the wind

Watch goodness disappear!

.

Unleash war upon these fools

Burn their villages to the ground

Turn their villages into cinders

Give their land's unfading scars!

At long last _we_ make the rules

Love and pity be cursed and drowned!

Shove into the spikes all that hinders

And take what ought to be ours!

.

Spread the word! Spread the blaze!

For too long we've waited

Watching other bulls graze

Spread the word! Spread the flames

Let all the world tremble

When e'er they hear our names!

.

Waiting—to turn Kings and Chiefs into broken down slaves

Anticipating—throwing our enemies into unmarked graves

.

Waiting—to increase our power beyond all measure

Anticipating—tasting the enjoyment of ceaseless pleasure

.

Waiting—to make the air hazy and turn the clouds black

Anticipating—outwitting 'friends' and stabbing them in the back!

.

And we'll start this campaign

With Hiccup watching us go to work

Sacking Berk!

Then he'll watch his dragon

Be carved up and roasted on a spit

And join it!

.

Such are the gifts that we will endow

When at long last we strike

And that time is now.


	33. Someday-Maybe

**Someday…Maybe**

Sometimes I feel so alone

One ship lost in a sea of wrong

Unable to understand

Why we all can't get along

Why we can't see past the differences

And it chills me down to the bone

To think it will remain this way

Since Hate's endured all this time

Why should it vanish today?

.

Yet another part of me

Deep down inside

Knows there will be a time

Where we cast down hate and pride

Where at last we realize

All the treasures on this earth

Can't match the happiness we know

When we're with the ones we love so

I know this day will come

I know these things can be

I know that as the years circle by

They'll bring this day nearer to me

I know the day will come

When all of us will see

That hate will help no one at all

We'll see it come someday

Someday…maybe

.

What joy we would feel

If such a hope became real

To walk unafraid

Beside the sea and the glade

To not eye neighbors with suspicion

To fully improve one's condition

And enjoy our labor's fruits

Unhindered by brutes

To not spend our lives in sorrow

And not dread tomorrow

.

A part of me knows the world

Will get better

The outcasts will find homes

The slave shall break the fetter

No one will profit by lies

Merit will supersede birth

And Kings and Chiefs will truly care

And treat their subjects well and fair

I know this day will come

When all of us are free

From the wrongs we are enduring now

I defy those who disagree

I know this day will come

When all my family

Will gather in the light of Peace

We'll see it come

Someday…maybe

.

Of course this day will not arrive

Unless we all allow it to

It might sound impossible

Like a dream that can't come true

For some won't look past the differences

And many would scheme and contrive

To put obstacles in the way

But I know there's hope for us

And that change will come, someday

.

And that's the end of this.

Special thanks to ThatGuyWhoAlwaysSignsHisCommentsWithA":-D", Tista2018, giselemaciel446, TheFuriousNightFury, and the others who have reviewed this collection. Your reviews kept me going and increased this collection from the intended 20 poems to 33.

Until next time, whenever that may be!


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